seiberwing

Let me tell you, internet. Let me regale you with the tale of my aquatic adventure.

So after work I slipped into my suit and Dad and I boated over to our friends' house downriver. It started raining when we got out into the channel and the party had to be moved up to the house, but it was still quite cozy and everyone likes my cookies. That was snuggly.

And then we go to leave.

And then our mutual friends, whose pontoon boat we are tied to have their boat refuse to start. We attempt to jumpstart them. This fails and it's probably a miracle nobody got electrocuted. Hence, of course, the only answer to this is to have our ski boat tow a pontoon boat twice our size five miles down the lake at the speed of your average marathon swimmer as if we've just boarded and sacked the damn thing. During the drive my parents have a ten minute long conversation over the phone where they attempt to talk my autistic brother through going downstairs and turning on the lights for our dock. This takes a while because he suddenly became scared of the dark, but he did it and that probably saved us a lot of time and hassle

OH. OH, BUT THIS IS NOT THE BEST PART.

The best part is that by this point it's nearly nine in the evening. It's getting dark. By the time we get back to their cove it is dark. So we're threading the needle in the dark with pilot lights barely bright enough to say 'oh hello here we are don't run into us' while towing something double our mass through a cove is littered with debris from previous storms. Our surveillance system consisted me and Mom squinting really hard and warning for giant logs in the water. It's a miracle we even got them into dock without incident.

It was fine, and mostly just dull crawling down the lake in the dead of evening, but why did we think that was a good idea?

Ways You Know You Are Back In Tennessee

The car repair place waiting room has a Bible sitting next to the old magazines.

You mistake a church for a Kroger supermarket and are only convinced otherwise by an easily-missed cross on the window.

Palm-sized spiders crawling up the opposite wall while you're taking a shower are not terrifying invaders of personal space but are merely immigrants to the group of other spiders already congregating in webs on your ceiling.

ALSO: Is The Fear supposed to be aggressively bisexual? All his fanart makes him out to be such, but I can never tell with MGS fandom.