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seiberwingSo I have returned from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, having tried to ignore pretty much everyone ever saying it sucks. They obviously had not understood Bay's art, and by art I mean having a loose plot to explain why things are blowing up.
...my head hurts. That is not hyperbole, my head actually physically hurts from the sheer amount of "what the fuck is this what the fuckery" that went into this movie.
The sad part is that I could see the basis of a good plot peeking through. Transformers on Earth thousands of years ago was a decent idea, the Fallen leading a death-to-humans cult vs. Optimus Prime leading a life-to-all-life cult that is so extreme that it actually puts human life above Transformer life (Autobots = PETA?) is a bit more awkward but okay. More robots was a good idea, apparently Bay at least listened to people complaining there weren't enough.Bumblebee supporting Mikaela/Sam was pretty cute in a weird way. Megatron and Starscream bickering was a reasonable scene.
There were some good characters thrown in there too. Simmons as a positive character was a good idea, although they kept trying to make him comedic and that partly ruined it.Simmons/Leo OTP! Jetfire as an old guy who switched sides was cool, I think he was one of my favorites. Bee was...Bee, even this movie couldn't remove the intense love I have for Bee, Bee is win.
There's potential. But it's all put together so horrifically badly and mixed with the kind of toilet humor that South Park fans would find unfunny that it ruins any potential for being interesting. Someone mentioned on RPG.net that the writer's strike occurred halfway through the movie and Bay had to do a lot of it himself--I think this explains pretty much everything.
I'm sorry, Michael Bay. The fighting robots just weren't enough to win me over. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going over to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
beexsam to comfort myself with some soothing interspecies slash, because the scenes featuring the affirmation of the Bee/Sam/Mikaela OT3 were probably the best part of this movie.
...my head hurts. That is not hyperbole, my head actually physically hurts from the sheer amount of "what the fuck is this what the fuckery" that went into this movie.
The sad part is that I could see the basis of a good plot peeking through. Transformers on Earth thousands of years ago was a decent idea, the Fallen leading a death-to-humans cult vs. Optimus Prime leading a life-to-all-life cult that is so extreme that it actually puts human life above Transformer life (Autobots = PETA?) is a bit more awkward but okay. More robots was a good idea, apparently Bay at least listened to people complaining there weren't enough.
There were some good characters thrown in there too. Simmons as a positive character was a good idea, although they kept trying to make him comedic and that partly ruined it.
There's potential. But it's all put together so horrifically badly and mixed with the kind of toilet humor that South Park fans would find unfunny that it ruins any potential for being interesting. Someone mentioned on RPG.net that the writer's strike occurred halfway through the movie and Bay had to do a lot of it himself--I think this explains pretty much everything.
I'm sorry, Michael Bay. The fighting robots just weren't enough to win me over. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going over to
beexsam to comfort myself with some soothing interspecies slash, because the scenes featuring the affirmation of the Bee/Sam/Mikaela OT3 were probably the best part of this movie.
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Date: 2009-06-26 08:42 pm (UTC)I've chewed on that one for about five minutes and was able to come up with some bullshit to explain it. Which they should have actually said. Because it makes more sense.
In Transformer world, energon makes the robot go round. From what I can tell, they've all but run out and some, like Jetfire, are slowly decaying without that lifeblood. So. They built that machine millions of years prior, when Seibertron had more sources. It was like the robot Roaring 20's. Now, they want to use that device and don't have the resources or energy to move it.
Obvious solution. Blow up our sun. Get that energon. Move on to the next galaxy and begin to rebuild Cybertron, or a new robot homeland.
I have to admit, in that one scene where government man is spouting off next to Prime's corpse, I was desperately waiting for Ironhide to just shoot him.
The entire movie would have been made. Except that guy was there to lulz at administration/anti-war/blahblah/socialcommentary. The only social commentary Bay should be making is 'lulz, I pick actress cus is hot chik'.
Arcee bikes can come. They'll be the Smurfette in our little new robot asylum.
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Date: 2009-06-26 08:50 pm (UTC)The entire movie would have been made. Except that guy was there to lulz at administration/anti-war/blahblah/socialcommentary.
Fuck that, fuck that right in its pseudopatriotic small-dicked, flag-waving ass. I find it very hypocritical to go 'yay military and war and blowing shit up' while everyone's supposedly working for peace.
Alice can come under the conditions that she put actual pants on and stop trying to seduce barely legal freshmen. We do have standards, you know.