Fandom's over, we can all go home now.

[seiberwing]

I think I've found, hands down, probably the weirdest porn dialogue in the history of the Transformers Kink Meme. Possibly the Transformers fandom itself.

I ain't gonna break, Opti.” Jazz attempted to hump back, but his position wouldn't allow it. “Come on, moooove. Please?”

“I'm savoring the moment,” Optimus explained in a faraway, breathy (how a mech that didn't breath managed to sound breathy, Jazz would never care enough to know) tone.

“You're drivin' me bananas, that's what you're doin'.” Jazz braced himself with one hand and tried to make Optimus roll over; instead, the Prime pushed Jazz halfway onto his belly. Damn their different sizes!

“I didn't know you could drive bananas.”

Jazz huffed, not only at the lame counterjibe, but at the fact that Prime STILL WASN'T MOVING.
“Prime...”

“Maybe you're confusing bananas with the Weinermobile.”

Okay, he could HEAR the smile in Prime's face now. “Prime!”

And now I'm having images of the Weinermobile as a Transformer. Thanks, brain.

Comments

[raisedbymoogles.livejournal.com]

I think it's kind of cute. I like touches of the absurd and silly in porn, so it's not an endless march of SRS.

Besides, they're talking phallic metaphors, so it's totally on topic. ;)

[seiberwing.livejournal.com]

Yes, but Optimus Prime talking about the Weinermobile throws me out of the fic like a spring-loaded cream pie. And makes me die laughing.

[catraven.livejournal.com]

"spring-loaded cream pie" = Best. Turn of phrase. EVER!