It's thoughts on yaoi time again, ladies and gentlemen!

[seiberwing]

A gay man posts a secret on fandomsecrets about how he hates that yaoi fangirls fetishize his sexuality, and understandably the entire thing starts wanking faster than a submarine engineer who's gotten on the internet for the first time in a year and a half. I get into it here and here for the most part, but pretty much everyone's sharing their thoughts on the matter.

(Warning: Image heavy. For the dialup-gifted, the secret in question is here.)

My thoughts, highly distilled, are that traditional yaoi isn't fetishizing a sexuality so much as a specific ideal and dynamic, and anyone who thinks that real gay men act like that has a few more problems than the doujinshi on her hard drive. Any thoughts from the audience?

Comments

[faithinfire.livejournal.com]

I do admit, I feel guilty sometimes about my tendency to crane my neck to peek at the gay. Even RL gay, which will make me crane my neck like whoa especially in certain circumstances - witness my reaction when I found out that one of the guys from the Black Metal scene came out recently. It just sometimes feels like I'm being an asshole and projecting my kinks on other people's private lives.

Then I remember that the real reason why I find gay guys so fascinating is that if I had a choice (that didn't involve dangerous and invasive surgery that I'm pretty sure still wouldn't give me what I really want) I'd BE one. And then I feel less guilty, because I'm watching not because I want to interfere with or fetishize their lives, but because I am deeply envious. I wish I could join in something that I'm debarred from by accident of both birth and socialization, and I'm happy for (and jealous of) those people who can have it and who are glad to have it.

All of which says more about my issues than about your actual question, but... >.>

[seiberwing.livejournal.com]

I'll admit to feeling the guilt bit, but mostly because it involves me finding it default awesome when a character is gay as opposed to not (see my post on 'Allo 'Allo! for more on that). When Dumbledore "came out" I was ecstatic over an already cool character becoming cooler. Same for when two male characters are expressing sexual tension.

But I don't think that's really fetishizing a sexuality, unless both individuals are hot (in which case, it's just the hot). For me, it's more that it's being different in a good way, same as any show that manages to put a male and female protagonist together without the slightest hint of sexual tension or romantic attraction (or has them in a relationship from start to finish).