I do admit, I feel guilty sometimes about my tendency to crane my neck to peek at the gay. Even RL gay, which will make me crane my neck like whoa especially in certain circumstances - witness my reaction when I found out that one of the guys from the Black Metal scene came out recently. It just sometimes feels like I'm being an asshole and projecting my kinks on other people's private lives.
Then I remember that the real reason why I find gay guys so fascinating is that if I had a choice (that didn't involve dangerous and invasive surgery that I'm pretty sure still wouldn't give me what I really want) I'd BE one. And then I feel less guilty, because I'm watching not because I want to interfere with or fetishize their lives, but because I am deeply envious. I wish I could join in something that I'm debarred from by accident of both birth and socialization, and I'm happy for (and jealous of) those people who can have it and who are glad to have it.
All of which says more about my issues than about your actual question, but... >.>
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2009-02-25 02:53 pm (UTC)Then I remember that the real reason why I find gay guys so fascinating is that if I had a choice (that didn't involve dangerous and invasive surgery that I'm pretty sure still wouldn't give me what I really want) I'd BE one. And then I feel less guilty, because I'm watching not because I want to interfere with or fetishize their lives, but because I am deeply envious. I wish I could join in something that I'm debarred from by accident of both birth and socialization, and I'm happy for (and jealous of) those people who can have it and who are glad to have it.
All of which says more about my issues than about your actual question, but... >.>