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Jun. 30th, 2006 03:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seiberwingA quickly-written Sue-parody.
The Lady Sue puts her ear to the door of Megatron's room. Hearing his sharp gasps, followed by "Yes!", she can only assume he is thinking of her. Using her Sue lockpick skills, she enters.
As she gracefully enters the inner sanctum of the Predacon leader, she sees Megatron sitting in his bathtub, one hand suspiciously under the water. Caught him in the act, did I? And he's even got a jacuzzi going, look at those bubbles. She slinks over to Megatron and puts her elbows on the rim of the tub. "Would you like a little company, Megsy?"
"No, I'm quite fine." Megatron squirms slightly, attempting to communicate, in body language, the fact that Inferno should not bring his head above the water under pain of pain.
The Sue leans over the edge of the tub and Megatron has to scoot about to conceal the ant cowering inside the bath, head in his Queen’s lap. Megatron winds up sitting on Inferno's arm and he stifles a yelp.
"But Megsy, I know you've been waiting all day for me."
"Um...look! Over there!" The Sue turns and Inferno pops his head above the water, desperately gasping. He'd been sure he'd locked the door...
"I don't see anything..." The Sue starts to turn around and Megatron manages to say "Duck!" in time for Inferno to dive again.
“Duck?” the Sue asks, tilting her head and putting on her best cute-yet-confused expression. Megatron coughs and shoves Inferno farther down.
"Yes, ahem. My duck. Could you retrieve it for me?" Megatron leans
forward slightly, smiling obligingly. One cannot use physical force against the Sue. Only logic defeats her.
"It looks all torn up and scorched, Megsy. What happened to it?"
“It’s from my childhood,” Megatron answers quickly.
"Oh, how cute. Your first bathtub playmate." Megatron doesn't like how the Sue is eying him, as if to say Would you like another one playmate that's a bit more...lively?
Lady Sue perches herself on the edge of the bath. "But he's so dull," she comments, tossing Ducky on the floor. Inferno burbles something about heresy and lesbian seductresses. Lady Sue has made several references to mating with the queen, which is blasphemy. Only a male drone is permitted to do that (cuddling and massages, of course, being a completely different matter).
"Aren't you chilly?"
"No! I'm quite warm, actually." Inferno flails, clawing at the tub wall. Air!
Megatron groans. "Is there no way out of this?" One can't just up and blast the Sue if one is the love interest. "You don't really want one, do you, Megsy?" the Sue whispered, leaning closer.
Last ditch effort time to distract her. "There is...another, I'm afraid."
Sad Sue. "Another? How long ago did she die?" It is impossible for Megatron to have another interest while Lady Sue is about.
"She's not dead." Thinkthinkthink. "An arranged marriage, and sorrowfully, I cannot be parted from it." That should work.
But the Sue perserveres. "It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. We are destined to be together!" She leans in to kiss him--which is right about when Inferno has to pop his head back up again. Her lips, expecting scales, meet chitin.
The ant and the Sue exchange snarls as Inferno draws protectively close to Megatron.
“Step away from the Queen!”
"He's your king and my love! Back off!"
Megatron puts his mighty mind to work, thinking like mad. He puts his hands between the two. "Actually, that's not quite true." He summons up all the acting ability he gained while he and Dinobot worked with the Shakespearean players (Dinobot’s performance in ‘Hamlet’ had brought frenzied applause, for no apparent reason) and looks longingly at Inferno.
"I am...not as masculine as you percieve me." He takes the hand of the very confused Inferno. "Only Inferno has known the truth, thus far. And he does slip up on occasion." Megatron looks down and bats his eyes.
The Sue's jaw drops. “You mean you're a..."
Megatron digs his fingers into his thigh in an attempt not to laugh. "Yes. Despite appearances, I am actually a female."
Inferno does not at all get what's going on. "Of course the Queen is female!" Megatron kicks him.
"I told you not to call me that in public, dear." To Lady Sue, he addd, "It's a pet name. Inferno can be so sweet at times."
Megatron gives Inferno's hand a warning squeeze, to tell him not to put up any more protests. "You will keep it a secret, of course? Just between us girls?"
The Sue nods shakily. "Of course, Megatron. I'll just go...see Terry now, okay?" She darts off, planning to take her Suedar in for repairs.
Megatron slumps tiredly against the tub. Inferno asks nervously, "My Queen? Do you need assistance?" "Fetch me a basin, I feel like vomiting." Then he eyes his ant minion and the corner of his mouth twitch upward. "On second thought, forget the basin and get back to what you were doing."
Edit: Forgot to post this here.
That plus everything at work broke yesterday. Two CO2 leaks, one stopped-up drain, and the slushie machine flooded the whole floor.
The Lady Sue puts her ear to the door of Megatron's room. Hearing his sharp gasps, followed by "Yes!", she can only assume he is thinking of her. Using her Sue lockpick skills, she enters.
As she gracefully enters the inner sanctum of the Predacon leader, she sees Megatron sitting in his bathtub, one hand suspiciously under the water. Caught him in the act, did I? And he's even got a jacuzzi going, look at those bubbles. She slinks over to Megatron and puts her elbows on the rim of the tub. "Would you like a little company, Megsy?"
"No, I'm quite fine." Megatron squirms slightly, attempting to communicate, in body language, the fact that Inferno should not bring his head above the water under pain of pain.
The Sue leans over the edge of the tub and Megatron has to scoot about to conceal the ant cowering inside the bath, head in his Queen’s lap. Megatron winds up sitting on Inferno's arm and he stifles a yelp.
"But Megsy, I know you've been waiting all day for me."
"Um...look! Over there!" The Sue turns and Inferno pops his head above the water, desperately gasping. He'd been sure he'd locked the door...
"I don't see anything..." The Sue starts to turn around and Megatron manages to say "Duck!" in time for Inferno to dive again.
“Duck?” the Sue asks, tilting her head and putting on her best cute-yet-confused expression. Megatron coughs and shoves Inferno farther down.
"Yes, ahem. My duck. Could you retrieve it for me?" Megatron leans
forward slightly, smiling obligingly. One cannot use physical force against the Sue. Only logic defeats her.
"It looks all torn up and scorched, Megsy. What happened to it?"
“It’s from my childhood,” Megatron answers quickly.
"Oh, how cute. Your first bathtub playmate." Megatron doesn't like how the Sue is eying him, as if to say Would you like another one playmate that's a bit more...lively?
Lady Sue perches herself on the edge of the bath. "But he's so dull," she comments, tossing Ducky on the floor. Inferno burbles something about heresy and lesbian seductresses. Lady Sue has made several references to mating with the queen, which is blasphemy. Only a male drone is permitted to do that (cuddling and massages, of course, being a completely different matter).
"Aren't you chilly?"
"No! I'm quite warm, actually." Inferno flails, clawing at the tub wall. Air!
Megatron groans. "Is there no way out of this?" One can't just up and blast the Sue if one is the love interest. "You don't really want one, do you, Megsy?" the Sue whispered, leaning closer.
Last ditch effort time to distract her. "There is...another, I'm afraid."
Sad Sue. "Another? How long ago did she die?" It is impossible for Megatron to have another interest while Lady Sue is about.
"She's not dead." Thinkthinkthink. "An arranged marriage, and sorrowfully, I cannot be parted from it." That should work.
But the Sue perserveres. "It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. We are destined to be together!" She leans in to kiss him--which is right about when Inferno has to pop his head back up again. Her lips, expecting scales, meet chitin.
The ant and the Sue exchange snarls as Inferno draws protectively close to Megatron.
“Step away from the Queen!”
"He's your king and my love! Back off!"
Megatron puts his mighty mind to work, thinking like mad. He puts his hands between the two. "Actually, that's not quite true." He summons up all the acting ability he gained while he and Dinobot worked with the Shakespearean players (Dinobot’s performance in ‘Hamlet’ had brought frenzied applause, for no apparent reason) and looks longingly at Inferno.
"I am...not as masculine as you percieve me." He takes the hand of the very confused Inferno. "Only Inferno has known the truth, thus far. And he does slip up on occasion." Megatron looks down and bats his eyes.
The Sue's jaw drops. “You mean you're a..."
Megatron digs his fingers into his thigh in an attempt not to laugh. "Yes. Despite appearances, I am actually a female."
Inferno does not at all get what's going on. "Of course the Queen is female!" Megatron kicks him.
"I told you not to call me that in public, dear." To Lady Sue, he addd, "It's a pet name. Inferno can be so sweet at times."
Megatron gives Inferno's hand a warning squeeze, to tell him not to put up any more protests. "You will keep it a secret, of course? Just between us girls?"
The Sue nods shakily. "Of course, Megatron. I'll just go...see Terry now, okay?" She darts off, planning to take her Suedar in for repairs.
Megatron slumps tiredly against the tub. Inferno asks nervously, "My Queen? Do you need assistance?" "Fetch me a basin, I feel like vomiting." Then he eyes his ant minion and the corner of his mouth twitch upward. "On second thought, forget the basin and get back to what you were doing."
Edit: Forgot to post this here.
That plus everything at work broke yesterday. Two CO2 leaks, one stopped-up drain, and the slushie machine flooded the whole floor.
