Fandom's over, we can all go home now.

[seiberwing]

I think I've found, hands down, probably the weirdest porn dialogue in the history of the Transformers Kink Meme. Possibly the Transformers fandom itself.

I ain't gonna break, Opti.” Jazz attempted to hump back, but his position wouldn't allow it. “Come on, moooove. Please?”

“I'm savoring the moment,” Optimus explained in a faraway, breathy (how a mech that didn't breath managed to sound breathy, Jazz would never care enough to know) tone.

“You're drivin' me bananas, that's what you're doin'.” Jazz braced himself with one hand and tried to make Optimus roll over; instead, the Prime pushed Jazz halfway onto his belly. Damn their different sizes!

“I didn't know you could drive bananas.”

Jazz huffed, not only at the lame counterjibe, but at the fact that Prime STILL WASN'T MOVING.
“Prime...”

“Maybe you're confusing bananas with the Weinermobile.”

Okay, he could HEAR the smile in Prime's face now. “Prime!”

And now I'm having images of the Weinermobile as a Transformer. Thanks, brain.

Comments

[raisedbymoogles.livejournal.com]

I think it's kind of cute. I like touches of the absurd and silly in porn, so it's not an endless march of SRS.

Besides, they're talking phallic metaphors, so it's totally on topic. ;)

[happyyandere.livejournal.com]

I still think it's weird that I found a fic where some Transformers took a shower together.

Where did they even find a shower that big with a sliding door




I always kinda liked Jazz and Optimus together though, even if I only barely have my toes in the door of the Transformers stuff. Cuddlin' robots :3c

[sonofwolf.livejournal.com]

Hey, anything is better than the dildo that transforms into a purple megatron looking dude.



In fact, I am STILL looking for that in stores.


For the novelty factor. You know.

[hoskie.livejournal.com]

There are many many MANY things I don't like about the above.

Even if you set aside the whole 'weinermobile' thing... it's still awkwardly written.

[kagirinaiyume.livejournal.com]

....OW.....OOOOOOWW...

[midoriri.livejournal.com]

*snicker* Wow...
A Transforming Weinermobile...now all there needs to be is an ice-cream truck and the Mystery Machine. (Wait, WAS there an ice-cream truck Transformer?)

Also, since it's out of context, it doesn't look like sex at al. The whole deal with "MOVE" makes it sound like two guys with only one blanket/bed. ("Scoot over!" "You scoot over! "Quit hogging the sheet!")