seiberwing: (Explanations)
seiberwing ([personal profile] seiberwing) wrote2008-01-08 11:53 am
Entry tags:

Life on the edge, huzzah.

He broke my door.

My brother broke my damn door down.

...perhaps I should back up a bit. I had a small argument with David this evening over how he needs to put his headphones in and stop singing when he's on the computer because it's bloody annoying. And he kinda...freaked.

So I rang up Mom. David took the phone away, talked to her for a bit, then hung up and refused to give me the phone back. Now me, I know this sort of thing when I see it, the threats of 'you'll be sorry' and the yelling are never good signs. So I snagged my cell phone and took off to go lock myself in the nearest room (his) as per procedure.

Didn't work, he knocked the door open and grabbed at my hands. So I made a few jokes and calming statements and managed to ease away. Went next door to my room next, properly locked the door--and he managed to break off that little bit of metal on the doorframe with one or two good slams. I had no idea he was that strong by now.

At this point I managed to distract him by talking about how strange it was that he'd actually managed to break the door down and how it was just like in cop shows where they bust into people's houses. The 'moment' seemed to have broken by then--David's outbursts of violence are usually fairly shortlived and wind up with him going self-pitying and begging that I not tell Mom, the problem is getting him up to that point without anything nasty happening--so I was fairly all right.

Turned out later that by some slipup he hadn't gotten his morning meds, which is probably why he went aggressive when he hasn't been like that in over a year and doesn't mean that I'm not still pissed off over the entire affair. Mom offered a chair and suggested I block up my room door since the lock slot didn't work exist and I blew her off. Seriously, I think I handled it fairly well and he didn't put a scratch on me, I don't need anything just in case he randomly wanders into my room in the middle of the night and decides to smother me with my stuffed whale puppet. I do still have teeth for to bite and knee for to make things uncomfortable.

Still. He took out my door. That's kinda freaky.

[identity profile] poptartodoom.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
That's TERRIFYING. I used to beat up on my siblings and have violent outbursts, too- your brother has BPD, right? Makes sense... But still. *shudders* Eesh. Hits too close to home for me...

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 02:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Bipolar disorder and mild autism to make things more complicated, yeah.
ravynstoneabbey: (gack)

[personal profile] ravynstoneabbey 2008-01-09 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
O.O Thats is very scary.

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 02:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Probably scarier for you than it was for me. I'm used to the strangeness.
ravynstoneabbey: (Sam)

[personal profile] ravynstoneabbey 2008-01-09 06:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Well to be honest, it reminded me of when my dad got really upset and busted doors, usually mine.

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 06:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, that's...a lot different.

Deal with my bro is that my parents have authority and (theoretical and legal) control over him. There's at least two people who can stand between me and him most of the time; the only times this actually happens directly to me is when I'm babysitting him alone. And it only happened because he was off his meds, in normal conditions this doesn't happen anymore.

[identity profile] uftaki.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 06:36 am (UTC)(link)
eeep! That is very, very scary... x.x;

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 02:45 pm (UTC)(link)
*offers you teddy for safety cuddling?*

[identity profile] navigatorsghost.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 09:44 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my gods. Please, please, put some thought into this, sis. When a guy who's physically stronger than you tries to hurt you, it isn't always as easy as you'd expect to hurt him back. And even if you can get a hand free and some leverage, it can be very very hard to hurt someone enough without hurting them too much and winding up clawing an eye out or giving them permanent scarring. And having to do that to someone you actually care about... *shudders*

Considered a can of Mace? Either that or self-defence training might be a good idea. Maybe I'm overprotective, but the thought of you getting hurt or maimed or worse because your kid brother can't keep his brain under control hits... yeah, too close to home for me, as well. *hugs fiercely*

[identity profile] lonescorpion.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 12:39 pm (UTC)(link)
I second the Mace idea. Take this seriously - I mean, you may as well prepare yourself; you're not hurting or offending anyone by just being cautious (even if they say otherwise). You may be able to fend him off on a particular occasion, but the more times you push your luck, the more likely it is that things will go badly wrong at some point (and it only takes one incident).

I'm saying this because you DO care about your family. If it was me, I'd say "fuck this shit, I'm moving out." But clearly, you are a close knit family, and the biggest danger here is letting that give you a false sense of control.

Plus, self-defense classes are just plain cool anyway (and bonus points if you manage to take up a fully-fledged martial discipline - the Triad doesn't have a martial arts expert yet).

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 02:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm saying this because you DO care about your family. If it was me, I'd say "fuck this shit, I'm moving out."

To be quite honest, I never thought of saying it even back when I was 15 and he was biting me. It's...well, like living in rural Europe and fending off the occasional wolf who comes to nibble on your children. Just part of life.

But clearly, you are a close knit family, and the biggest danger here is letting that give you a false sense of control.

Nah, the biggest danger is getting a swollen ego and thinking I can take him. I did rather underestimate him.

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 02:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I am not going to go macing my own brother as appealing as the idea gets sometimes. Trust me, I've been taming this lion for most of my life, I know how to handle him even if restraining him's been taken out of the question (and no time to deal with martial arts lessons and I'm going back to school next week anyway).

Besides, it was a meds issue. In his normal state he doesn't do that anymore.
Edited 2008-01-09 14:40 (UTC)

[identity profile] navigatorsghost.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 10:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Fair enough, if you're confident it's okay. I freely admit my own backstory makes me a bit more paranoid about these things than many people.

Take care, okay?

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 10:33 pm (UTC)(link)
That's kinda what I was thinking. But this is a different sort of situation. *snugs* I'm taking quite good care.

[identity profile] koilungfish.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 11:13 am (UTC)(link)
Farkinnell. Not good. Get a stronger door.

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 02:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I think the doorframe wood's relatively soft anyway. He'd have a harder time with, say, the door to the Triadhouse upstairs.

[identity profile] koilungfish.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 04:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, because that opens *outwards*.

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I meant in terms of physical substance. Does that door even lock from the other side?

[identity profile] revelininsanity.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 11:45 am (UTC)(link)
Whoa. *hugs*

That sucks, dude. I hope everything's cool by now.

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 02:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, yeah, find. It always blows over in fifteen minutes or less and then things return to the status quo. Except this time the status quo involves my doorframe being broken.

[identity profile] drharper.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 01:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Granted, I have no idea about the family dynamic here, but, if there is any way for you to not share living space with your brother, do it. It doesn't matter that his "outbursts of violence are usually fairly shortlived". It only takes one "unusual" episode to get you killed.

However, I don't agree with the mace suggestion. In enclosed areas, mace will likely affect you just as much as it does him. Self-defense classes are a help, but they might also give you a false sense of security. Besides 90% of self-defense is avoiding the situations where you'd have to use it. If you're going to get a device to defend yourself with, your best bet would probably be a tazer but 1) you need to get through training in how to use it and 2) you'd have to be CERTAIN that David can't get his hands on it when he has another "outburst".

Sorry if this comes off as preacy and nosey, but I'm freaking terrified for you!
Edited 2008-01-09 13:31 (UTC)

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 02:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Granted, I have no idea about the family dynamic here, but, if there is any way for you to not share living space with your brother, do it. It doesn't matter that his "outbursts of violence are usually fairly shortlived". It only takes one "unusual" episode to get you killed.

*considers* Perhaps I haven't made myself clear enough in the entry. David's had that violent potential for years and I've taken my share of bruised throats and bite marks. He's been medicated and trained out of it now, and by David violence standards this was actually fairly controlled and mild. I just didn't know he could actually break the door.

If you're going to get a device to defend yourself with, your best bet would probably be a tazer but 1) you need to get through training in how to use it and 2) you'd have to be CERTAIN that David can't get his hands on it when he has another "outburst".

NO. I'm not a fucking pansy in a horror flick, I don't need to be pulling a Pikachu on him when I can handle the situation myself. I know him and I know how the routine goes down. No.

[identity profile] drharper.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 03:04 pm (UTC)(link)
*holds up hands*

Okay, okay. It was an "if" you were going to get some device. I just wanted to suggest one that wouldn't endanger you if you had to use it. Maybe I'm overreacting here (hell, it's likely I'm overreacting here), but suddenly hearing that someone has forcibly taken away a safety line (the phone), assaulted you and then pursued you from room to room breaking down doors to get to you freaked me completely out. My brain just kept going "what if she can't talk him down next time?" and getting more freaked with each new image it conjured.

I'll just hit said freaking brain with yerba mate to keep it quiet and butt out. Sorry for upsetting you.

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 03:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Nah, nah, come back, it's all right. Probably looks a lot more freakish from outside than it did to me.

[identity profile] koilungfish.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 04:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Or possibly everyone on the outside has a rather more realistic view of the situation. Familiarity breeds contempt and all that.

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
*shrug* In theory, maybe. But it always comes out sounding worse when I talk about it.

[identity profile] raisedbymoogles.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Adding my voice to the "fucking terrified for you" chorus; not having a brother, BPD or otherwise, I don't have any helpful advice though.

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't be, really. *cuddles* I doubt it'll happen again and I'm perfectly safe here.

Trust me, I'm a professional.

[identity profile] raisedbymoogles.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 06:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Whatever you say, Wheeljack.

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, bleh. *sticks tongue out at*

[identity profile] tarajcl.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 07:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Punk needs a smacked face. How old is he now? Did he skip the meds deliberately? Am I nosing?

(Sidenote; freaky, but mine did the same damn thing about five years ago. Except it wasn't our door; it was the school's. Whoops.) (He's not bipolar; he just really hated it there.)

*offers stiff gin*

[identity profile] seiberwing.livejournal.com 2008-01-09 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
17, no, and no. My guess is that he and my mom both forgot about them, which is an uncommon but blameless condition.

*nibbles the gin*