seiberwing: (WTF?)
I think I've found, hands down, probably the weirdest porn dialogue in the history of the Transformers Kink Meme. Possibly the Transformers fandom itself.

I ain't gonna break, Opti.” Jazz attempted to hump back, but his position wouldn't allow it. “Come on, moooove. Please?”

“I'm savoring the moment,” Optimus explained in a faraway, breathy (how a mech that didn't breath managed to sound breathy, Jazz would never care enough to know) tone.

“You're drivin' me bananas, that's what you're doin'.” Jazz braced himself with one hand and tried to make Optimus roll over; instead, the Prime pushed Jazz halfway onto his belly. Damn their different sizes!

“I didn't know you could drive bananas.”

Jazz huffed, not only at the lame counterjibe, but at the fact that Prime STILL WASN'T MOVING.
“Prime...”

“Maybe you're confusing bananas with the Weinermobile.”

Okay, he could HEAR the smile in Prime's face now. “Prime!”


And now I'm having images of the Weinermobile as a Transformer. Thanks, brain.
seiberwing: (Safeword)
Several people have recently called me a 'prude' for my dislike of writing or discussing the particulars of sexual acts as they pertain to actual people. I would like to present Exhibit A of why I don't write graphic sex scenes--because there aren't many ways you can go about it and not be utterly ridiculous.

For those of you who are unaware of what the written sex act involves, here is a helpful instructional video narrated by Tom Lehrer.
seiberwing: (STFU)
In which [livejournal.com profile] dogbite and I lament the state of bad fanfiction and consider Autobot/Decepticon relations.

If it was capslock I'd take it to capslock_tf. But it is sadly not )
seiberwing: (Hail Hydra!)
It's the Seiber-and-headcast kink meme, snagged from the lovely [livejournal.com profile] ursulav!

No responsibility taken for some of the weird stuff on here. Balloons? Seriously? )
seiberwing: (Warm and Oily Cave)
Okay, so it's technically photos from an S&M festival instead of actual porn. But while I assume the reason is to show the horror that they're up against, the presence of three pages of people in various stages of leather and undress who look like they're having the time of their lives being hosted on a Catholic website amuses me far too greatly.

WARNING: VERY NSFW. Contains BDSM and furries, although no actual intercourse.

Context seems to be here, although still as amusing.

Catholic League president Bill Donohue explained the latest developments in the boycott against Miller Brewing:

“Miller Brewing will now be known as S&M Miller, and that is because it has apparently decided to drop anchor with the sadomasochistic festival that it is proudly sponsoring on Sunday at the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. It still refuses to pull sponsorship of this obscene event, knowing full well that it is making a financial contribution to an anti-Catholic group, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence; the Sisters is one of the beneficiaries of the street fair. And last night in San Francisco, the Sisters held a mock Last Supper, ridiculing all Christians.

“Yesterday, we sent all eleven members of the company’s Executive Committee a sample of the kinds of sick behaviors (click here) S&M Miller is sponsoring; the packet was sent by overnight mail to the all-male committee. The accompanying memo says:

It is hard to believe that if you knew exactly what kind of event the Folsom Street Fair is that you would want Miller to be sponsoring it. That is why I am sending the enclosed photos of this event (taken from previous years) to you.
In the outside chance you are not disturbed by these photos, please show them to your mother, wife and daughters.
I trust that you will do the right thing and withdraw sponsorship of this event immediately. Rest assured that we will not walk away from this issue. The public is rallying to our side, emboldening us to stay in this fight for as long as it takes.


“Over 200 religious organizations spanning six faith communities were sent a letter yesterday asking them to join us in the boycott. If S&M Miller doesn’t pull its sponsorship, we will announce a game plan on Monday that will make the company regret it ever decided to insult Christians.”


"It is ugly and if you aren't appalled enough, show it to the women of your family. Meanwhile, we'll be in our bunks."

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