seiberwing: (Abe Sapien)
So on a lark and because [profile] harleyquinn1517 has been getting me back into Batman again, I've been watching the 1960s Batman TV show. The show as a whole is good for Narm Charm and unintended hilarity, but in typical myself fashion I've become completely fixated on Frank Gorshin's portrayal of the Riddler.

He's hardly what most of us would think of as the 'traditional' Riddler, but years in the Transformers fandom has made me good at compartmentalizing different versions of similar characters. To more modern sensibilities he comes across as a cross between the goofier versions of comics Riddler and a less psychotic version of the Joker. Most of his riddles are more about wordplay than intellectual strain (though their relevance to current events can only be deduced with Batman's Insane Troll Logic free association) and there's an intense playfulness to his schemes. In "Death in Slow Motion" he does an entire Charlie Chaplin routine as a distraction for stealing a pittance of cash and dropping off his first riddle. Necessary, no. Awesome, yes.

He later walks into a bakery and pies the employees in the face. There are legitimate reasons for this. Fact remains that he thought it up.

It doesn't hurt that Riddler's the walking definition of a manic state. He's constantly bouncing off the walls, giggling, running off into passionate monologues, creating bizarre plans which he is extremely enthusiastic about and on rather unusual occasions making out with his own hands. Swap the shopping sprees with crime sprees and you've basically covered every DSM syndrome that would make it past the sixties censors. Much of this is of course due to Gorshin's acting, which gives us a wonderfully expressive character who can't seem to stand still for more than five seconds.

Also, kinky as heck. I'm not even kidding. No guy who doesn't have some manner of bondage fetish would be that gleeful about playing around with medieval torture/bondage equipment. That sensibility in the context of the sixties (especially such a mindblowingly Wholesome place as Gotham City), combined with the potential manic-depression, just makes me itch to get inside his head.

One of these days I will stop trying to overanalyze trivial or minor characters from shows that gave little thought to the 'verse they were creating. BUT TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY.
seiberwing: (Snooze)
So today, to see if I could gauge if these strange emotional...thingummies had anything to do with my meds, I went without them for a day. This was doubly beneficial since I chucked the bottle at the wall last night in a fit of rage and a few of the pills powderized when the lid split open, so consider me being economy-conscious as well. If I had to ask Dr. _____ for a new prescription early he might ask me awkward questions. Like why I'd thrown my pills at the wall in a fit of rage.

I'm considering the experiment to not be so much a failure as ineffective. I stayed in my room most of the day so I didn't have any outside stimulus to work against, and thus while I had no anger issues or violent episodes of paranoid anxiety I also had nothing that could have set them off but didn't. Most I got was the usual dizziness and mild upset stomach, but that happens every time I go off my meds so it means nothing besides withdrawal symptoms.

I'll pick the pills back up again tomorrow, if only because I've got schoolwork and a Samhain presentation to do and I'd rather be in optimum condition when I do them.

Also, happy birthday to my mum, aka [ profile] moonstarwing. Not that she reads my LJ that much anymore, but the sentiment's there.
seiberwing: (HOTUS)
I'm starting to wonder whether I should pick up some mildly harmful habit like banging my head into the wall until I bleed or some other form of low level flesh rending. Can't be too damaging, of course, I need to still be able to walk and type and think properly and my pain tolerance is limited, but I just need something to take the edge off. Y'know?

...maybe I should see one of the school therapists. Either my bipolar's getting worse or there's something wrong with me.

EDIT: Figures I get people on my case. *grumbles* Jesus Christ, people, do I look like the suicidal type?
seiberwing: (Me!)
Took my meds right after my last post and balanced out within the hour, so the status quo seems to have been restored. Head is unfuzzed once more, leaving me free to watch Theo play "Assassin's Creed" and do a bit of D&Ding.

Still fucking freezing up here, though.
seiberwing: (WTF?)
Seems that I've missed a day of my medications, something that was only brought to my attention recently (as of about 4:30pm) by my recent jittery nature and the quiet expulsion of 'fuck that shit' during a particularly unenlightening Men's Heath lecture on spirituality. More on that later when I'm not focused elsewhere, and no I did not get in trouble for it.

So, because this is my blog and I can do as I please with it, I'm charting the results.

My body is very jittery, and motor control is a little harder than it should be. *eyes vibrating foot* Try playing Halo while riding on one of those bucking cow machines, you'll get the idea. I'm having to focus a bit just to type, and my movements are being rapid and jerky. Heart rate's not really in a weird area but it feels like it is. Sort of a sugar rush effect, really.

I've got a mild headache and my head feels like it's all bound up in wet cotton batting, I can't focus on a specific image or thought trail without a bit of effort, it keeps jumping about. To be quite frank, I'm not quite sure I want to be focusing on a specific because if I get a really disturbing image in my head during one of these it becomes difficult to get it out again.

I'm not excessively emotional either way, although impulse control is a little lower than I'd like it to be and I'm rather sleepy. Might take a nap at some point, let the Lamictal I just took work its way back into my system. Mood is...well, I'll admit to having felt a little emotionally unstable back in class but the guy was a colossal bore and annoying besides. I did go up and talk to him about a lack of an inspiring presentation afterwards, and found it hard to voice my thoughts properly or make calm, stable gestures, and that was about when I figured out something was wrong. It didn't help that that part of the guest speaker's talk was that women discussed things while men solved them, and it was pretty damn obvious he was waiting for me or the other girl to get offended somehow because that meant he was right. Hopefully I explained my points properly (points being that he should have ordered and edited his talk better and focused on actual spirituality) instead of looking like a flailing moron.

I was actually considering a few days ago doing a small trial of going off my medications for a bit. Trial over. I'm gonna go fall over for a bit now.


seiberwing: (Default)

May 2013

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